There is not much point in having brilliant ideas if we cannot persuade people of their value. Persuasive debaters can win arguments using the force of their reason and by the skillful deployment of many handy techniques. Here are some general dos and don'ts to help you win arguments together with some sneaky tactics to be aware of.

    Do:

    1. Stay calm. Even if you get passionate about your point you must stay cool and in command of your emotions. If you lose your temper – you lose.

    2 . Use facts as evidence for your position. Facts are hard to refute so gather some pertinent data before the argument starts. Surveys, statistics, quotes from relevant people and results are useful arguments to deploy in support of your case.

    3. Ask questions. If you can ask the right questions you can stay in control of the discussion and make your opponent scramble for answers. You can ask questions that challenge his point, 'What evidence do you have for that claim?' You can ask hypothetical questions that extrapolate a trend and give your opponent a difficulty, 'What would happen if every nation did that?' Another useful type of question is one that calmly provokes your foe, 'What is about this that makes you so angry?'

    4. Use logic. Show how one idea follows another. Build your case and use logic to undermine your opponent.

    Appeal to higher values. As well as logic you can use a little emotion by appealing to worthy motives that are hard to disagree with, 'Shouldn't we all be working to make the world better and safer for our children?'

    5. Listen carefully. Many people are so focused on what they are going to say that they ignore their opponent and assume his arguments. It is better to listen carefully. You will observe weaknesses and flaws in his position and sometimes you will hear something new and informative!

    6. Be prepared to concede a good point. Don't argue every point for the sake of it. If your adversary makes a valid point then agree but outweigh it with a different argument. This makes you looked reasonable. 'I agree with you that prison does not reform prisoners. That is generally true but prison still acts effectively as a deterrent and a punishment.'

    7. Study your opponent. Know their strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and values. You can appeal to their higher values. You can exploit their weaknesses by turning their arguments back on them.

    8. Look for a win-win. Be open-minded to a compromise position that accommodates your main points and some of your opponent's. You cannot both win in a boxing match but you can both win in a negotiation.

    Don't:

    1. Get personal. Direct attacks on your opponent's lifestyle, integrity or honesty should be avoided. Attack the issue not the person. If the other party attacks you then you can take the high ground e.g.' I am surprised at you making personal attacks like that. I think it would be better if we stuck to the main issue here rather than maligning people.'

    2. Get distracted. Your opponent may try to throw you off the scent by introducing new and extraneous themes. You must be firm. 'That is an entirely different issue which I am happy to discuss later. For the moment let's deal with the major issue at hand.'

    3. Water down your strong arguments with weak ones. If you have three strong points and two weaker ones then it is probably best to just focus on the strong. Make your points convincingly and ask for agreement. If you carry on and use the weaker arguments then your opponent can rebut them and make your overall case look weaker.

    Low, sneaky ways that some people use to win arguments:

    1. Use punchy one-liners. You can sometimes throw your opponent out of his stride by interjecting a confident, concise cliché。 Here are some good ones:

    That begs the question.

    That is beside the point.

    You're being defensive.

    Don't compare apples and oranges.

    What are your parameters?

    2. Ridicule and humiliate your opponent. This can be very effective in front of an audience but will never win over the opponent himself.

    3. Deliberately provoke your adversary. Find something that makes them angry and keep wheedling away on this point until they lose their temper and so the argument.

    4. Distract. Throw in diversions which deflect the other person from their main point.

    5. Exaggerate your opponent's position. Take it way beyond its intended level and then show how ridiculous and unreasonable the exaggerated position is.

    6. Contradict confidently. Vigorously denounce each of your opponent's arguments as fallacious but just select one or two that you can defeat to prove the point. Then assume that you have won.

    Remember that an argument between two people is very different from a debate in front of an audience. In the first you are trying to win over the other person so look for ways of building consensus and do not be belligerent in making your points. In front of an audience you can use all sorts of theatrical and rhetorical devices to bolster your case and belittle your adversary. In these circumstances humour is a highly effective tool so prepare some clever lines in advance.

    不管我們的想法多美妙，別人不能接受的話，就沒什么意義了。擅長(zhǎng)說(shuō)服他人的高手贏得爭(zhēng)論，他們總有一大堆理由和用來(lái)搞定對(duì)手的熟練技巧。接下來(lái)要教你的就是一些關(guān)于哪些要做哪些不要做的基本戰(zhàn)術(shù)，當(dāng)然，小心，還有陰招。

    要做的：

    1. 要保持冷靜。 即使你的想法令自己熱血澎湃，你也得冷靜，再冷靜。 一旦情緒失控，你鐵定輸。

    2. 要以事實(shí)為依據(jù)。 對(duì)手很難反駁事實(shí)，記住論戰(zhàn)前從相關(guān)的人或地方那里收集調(diào)查，數(shù)據(jù)，引證，到時(shí)候就會(huì)覺得它們的巨大用處了。

    3. 要提問(wèn)。 問(wèn)題要一擊中的，讓你的對(duì)手抓耳撓腮地忙著找答案，你就掌控了整場(chǎng)論戰(zhàn)。你可以直接挑戰(zhàn)他的觀點(diǎn)，"你剛才說(shuō)的話依據(jù)在哪里？"你也可以做出假設(shè)推斷，讓對(duì)手難以回答，"如果每個(gè)國(guó)家都這么干會(huì)怎樣？"還有一種屢試不爽的辦法就是平靜地激怒對(duì)手，"這有什么大不了的，你這么生氣？"

    4. 要有條理。步步為營(yíng)，每個(gè)論點(diǎn)之間要有邏輯支撐，同時(shí)抓住對(duì)方的漏洞。又合理又有感情地提出一個(gè)高尚的目的，對(duì)方拒絕不了，"難道我們不該做點(diǎn)什么，為孩子們營(yíng)造一個(gè)更好更安全的世界嗎？"

    5. 要傾聽。 很多人只顧自己說(shuō)的，還先入為主地假想對(duì)手會(huì)怎么說(shuō)，因而忽略了對(duì)手表述時(shí)暴露的弱點(diǎn)和漏洞。最好聽仔細(xì)了，你就能抓住那些東西，有時(shí)還能逮到新的有用的信息！

    6. 對(duì)方如果哪一點(diǎn)說(shuō)得對(duì)，要準(zhǔn)備好讓步。 不要輜銖必較。 如果對(duì)頭提出一個(gè)正確的觀點(diǎn)，附和他，但要用一個(gè)不同的看法壓過(guò)他一頭。這能讓你顯得通情達(dá)理，"監(jiān)獄不能改造罪犯，這點(diǎn)我同意你，大家也都清楚，但是監(jiān)獄用來(lái)威懾和懲戒還是很有用的。"

    7. 要研究對(duì)手。了解他們的強(qiáng)處，弱項(xiàng)，了解他們迷信什么，看重什么。你可以提出他看重的東西打動(dòng)他， 利用他的弱點(diǎn)，以彼之道，還施彼身。

    8. 要爭(zhēng)取雙贏。 大度一些，只要能達(dá)成你的主要想法，即使也同時(shí)接受對(duì)方某些觀點(diǎn)，就可以妥協(xié)。 拳臺(tái)上只有一個(gè)贏家，談判席上卻可以雙贏。

    不要做的：

    1. 不要人身攻擊。 不要試圖攻擊對(duì)手的生活方式或他的品德。對(duì)事不對(duì)人。 如果對(duì)家對(duì)你來(lái)這手，你就占優(yōu)得分，居高臨下了。比如可以說(shuō) "沒想到你會(huì)搞人身攻擊，我覺得與其詆毀別人，不如好好談?wù)務(wù)�事�?quot;

    2. 不要心煩意亂。 對(duì)家說(shuō)不定會(huì)拋出無(wú)關(guān)的新話題，想讓你迷失方向。堅(jiān)持住，不要自亂陣腳，"你說(shuō)的完全是另一碼事，我很樂意以后和你探討，但是現(xiàn)在讓我們回到正題來(lái)。"

    3. 不要因小失大。 如果你有3個(gè)有力的論據(jù)和2個(gè)弱點(diǎn)的，那么，可能最好是只專注于那3個(gè)有力的。讓人信服地提出觀點(diǎn)，求得對(duì)方同意。如果你舍不得放棄那兩個(gè)弱的論據(jù)，那么對(duì)手就可以通過(guò)駁倒它們而使得你的一把好牌變?cè)恪?/p>

    一些陰招，有人用來(lái)放倒對(duì)手。

    1.說(shuō)些使人暈頭轉(zhuǎn)向的套話。 有時(shí)候你可以插些話，自信的，簡(jiǎn)練的套話，來(lái)打斷對(duì)手的節(jié)奏。 下面是些管用的話"

    你在回避實(shí)質(zhì)問(wèn)題。

    你離題了。

    你在為自己辯解。

    不要雞同鴨講。

    你的限定是什么？

    2. 嘲弄對(duì)頭。 這招在有人旁觀時(shí)很有殺傷力，但卻永遠(yuǎn)沒法使對(duì)頭臣服。

    3.故意激怒對(duì)手。找到他們的痛處，不斷刺激直到對(duì)手因失去理智而輸?shù)簟?/p>

    4. 使對(duì)手分心。 作些事， 分散對(duì)方注意力 ,讓他偏離自己的主要觀點(diǎn)。

    5. 夸大對(duì)方的意見，使其超出原來(lái)的程度，然后抨擊他的意見多么荒謬無(wú)理。

    6. 心安理得地駁斥對(duì)手。氣勢(shì)洶洶地指責(zé)對(duì)手，把他的每一條意見都說(shuō)成謬誤不堪，但只挑其中一兩條你能駁倒的下手批駁，然后堂而皇之地讓對(duì)手繳槍。

    要記住，兩人之間的對(duì)決和有旁觀者時(shí)極為不同。 兩人對(duì)決時(shí)，你要做的是使他臣服，所以盡力達(dá)成共識(shí)，表達(dá)自己意見時(shí)不要咄咄逼人。 面對(duì)旁觀者時(shí)就不同了，你要施展各種花招來(lái)拔高自己貶損對(duì)手 .此時(shí)幽默便是利器，所以記得提前準(zhǔn)備些機(jī)靈話備用。