Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person--not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and flaws.

Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. If I care about you, I'm concerned about your growth, and I hope you will become all that you can become.

Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as a separate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me.

Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I'm responsive to most of your major needs as a person.

Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, I am growing as a result of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what I might become, and my loving enhances your being as well.

Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not entail surrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.

Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring and my love and that you won't deliberately hurt me. I trust the reciprocal nature of our love.

Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times of boredom, times when I may feel like giving up, times of real strain, and times I experience an impasse. Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I can remember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care enough to face our problems and work them through.

Love is freeing. Love is freely given, not doled out on demand. Authentic love is not given with strings attached. There is an unconditional quality about love.

Love is expansive. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another's full development.

Love means having a want for the person I love without having a need for that person in order to be complete. If I am nothing without you, then I'm not really free to love you.

Love means identifying with the person I love. If I love you, I can empathize with you and see the world through your eyes. I can identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me. This closeness does not imply a continual "togetherness", for distance and separation are sometimes essential in a loving relationship. Distance can intensify a loving bond, and it can help us rediscover ourselves, so that we are able to meet each other in a new way.

Love is selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value, appreciate, and respect myself. If I am empty, the all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself, then I'm able to give you out of my fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you love is by fully enjoying myself with you.

Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person is now.

Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. In love this paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.

真愛的幾點內涵

    愛意味著我了解我所愛的人。我了解對方的諸多方面--不僅僅是美好的一面，而且包括不足之處，矛盾之處以及各種缺點。

    愛，指的是關心我所愛的人的幸福。如果我真關心你，就會關心你的成長，并希望你在一切可能的范圍內成全自己。

    愛，指的是維護我所愛的人的尊嚴。假如我愛你，我就會把你看成一個具有自己的價值觀，思想和感情的獨立的人，而不會要求你為了我而改變你的個性和屈從于我對你的期待。

    愛，指的是對我所愛的人有責任心。假如我愛你，我會把你看成一個有獨立個性的人，對你的多數重要需求作出反應。

    愛，指的是我和我所愛的人能從中共同獲取成長的力量。假如我愛你，我就會因我的愛而在不斷成長。你將會激勵我更充分地發展我的潛能，而我對你的愛也將進一步完善你的整個人生。

    愛，指的是對我所愛的人做出某種承諾。這種承諾并非指我們之間要完全屈從于對方，也不暗指我們之間的關系一定要永久不變。它實指我們必須相互依存的決心，不管是在平靜和歡樂的日子還是在痛苦、迷茫、掙扎和失望的時候，都不分離。

    愛，指的是信任我所愛的人。假如我愛你，我就會相信你會接受我的關懷和我的愛，也相信你不會故意傷害我。我相信我們之間的愛有一種天然的互補性。

    愛，須能容忍不完美。在相愛的過程中，肯定會出現厭煩的時候，有我想放棄的時候，有十分緊張的時候，亦有我感到無望的時候。真愛并不一定會有持久的幸福。然而，在厄境中我會堅持下去，因為我能記起我們在過去共同擁有的美好時光，也能預見，假如我們對自己的問題給予足夠的重視并加以解決，我們會有光明的前景。

    愛，是自愿的。愛只能是無償地獻出，而不是在需要時賒與。真愛的付出絕對沒有任何附加條件，無條件才是它的品質。

    愛，是敞開的。假如我愛你，我會鼓勵你向外發展并建立其他人際關系。鼓勵對方去充分發展自己才是兩人相愛的真實證明。

    愛，指的是渴望得到我所愛的人，而不是因為缺了對方自己就會不完整。假如缺少你我就無法生存，那么我就不會真有能力去愛你。

    愛，指的是理解我所愛的人。假如我愛你，我會與你產生情感共鳴并能通過你的眼睛看世界。我之所以能理解你是因為你中有我，我中有你。此種親密并不意味著兩人一刻不能分離，因為離別和距離有時候在兩人愛的關系中是必要的。距離能加強愛的紐帶，能幫助我們重新發現自己，因此我們能以某種新的方式認識對方。

    愛是自我的。只有當我真正地愛自己、珍惜自己、欣賞并尊重自己，我才能愛你。假如我空虛，那么我能給予你的也只能是空虛。假如我覺得自己充實完整并活得有價值，那么我也能給予你的就是充實完整。我愛你地最佳方式之一就是與你一起分享我的一切。

    愛，指的是能看清我們所愛的人內在的潛力。愛一個人時，我會一面接受對方的現狀，一面把對方看成將來能成為的那種人。

    成熟的愛指的是在保持個人完整獨立性的前提下所形成的統一。合而為一，卻又一分為二，這就是愛中似是而非的矛盾現象。